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Jamie and I met for dinner that night. Iwas stunned by my friend?s appearance. He was a she! I mean itwas still my friend but electrolysis and hormones had done theirwork well. We talked and argued that night over pasta and wine. I?m sure thatit looked like a lover?s spat to the other diners. I called Jamie afool. He told me that I just didn?t understand. In the end, he criedand told me that his mistress left him no choice. I demanded thathe seek professional counseling. I told him that his mistress was inhis mind. He responded that I was both right and wrong. Hismistress controlled his mind along with his heart but inside he wasonly a lowly servant. His words as we parted that night came backto me with a rush of guilt. ?Rick, you don?t understand and refuse to listen! I love Barb andthe girls and would do anything to stay with them but I can?t. Shehas taken control. I think there was a time when I could stand upto her but she?s just too strong now. You tell me. “I need YOU. But I’m not sure I can have you.”“I understand. Sleep on it, OK?”“I will. I’m going to my room.”“Good night.”“Good night,” she said and went to her room.I waited for Lars and Annika to finish the dishes.“Where’s Karin?” Annika asked.“She went to her room. She has a lot to think about and wants to be alone and sleep on it.”“I’m so sorry,” Annika said. “I wish I could help. You two seemed so right together.”“We are,” I said. “But there is an issue that Karin has to deal with before we can move forward. It’s my fault, really, because I dropped a real bomb on her, but it was something she needed to know.”“I hope you two can work this out.”“Me too,” I said. “Me too. I think I’ll go read and then sleep. Hopefully tomorrow things will be better.”“I hope so, too. Good night,” Annika said.“Good night, Steve,” Lars added.I read for a couple of hours, wrote a few pages in my journal, then went to sleep.I was surprised that I fell asleep so easily and slept soundly, waking early as.
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